Caring Fatherhood: Margo

- Hallo.
- Hallo, Margo. I am free now and will sit on the troll no 6. I will come still into centrum of city?
- Oh who is calling to me! you are free, oh I see... well, come to Kristiine centrum.
- Margo! I do hate Tallinn. How the heaven sake I will get there?
- With no 6 troll.
- Oh, I see. See yuo there then. I have incomeing call. Bye for now!
- Bye!

15 minutes later.
- Hi Margo, I am infront of the centrum. Where are you?
- Hmm. Go insided and walk around. Will be there in 20 minutes.
- 20 minutes!
- Well.. I am in traffic. If it takes well I will be there in 10 minutes.
- Ah, alright. When I get lost in that mammut centrum I will blame you.

I saw trough window men sitting behind PCs. So I did decide to go and take a cup of coffee and an hour in internet. It did cost me 52 krones. 25 for internet hour and 27 for some strawberry drink (coffee didn't look very delicous there). I sat behind PC and checked my emails. I watched what the time is. It was 5.19 PM. An hour with Margo and then on the bus and about at 9 PM I will be home. THats good. Then I can make a Power Point show for conference for my college mates. An hour... that's too much I think. Margo will be here before I finish. I can't let him wait for PC. Ah anyway, I have no duty to sit here all that hour.

There was only 6 emails in my mailbox. And it was first time I checked it on this day.Booooring. Discussion over doulas schooling what will cost for students 500 krones. And haven sake, they are doulas!! How can a midwife take lessons from a doula???!!! Oh find some brains, girls. Midwives are not the navel of the world.

I am.

Joke.

A note from library that I need to bring back some books. Then a bill from other College. Then a note from Kärt about youthevening... I havend showed so long up there. Sad. Or not. Well.. i dont feel sad :) But probably it would be nice of me AND good for me to show up in youthevening some week. I have to talk with Tom anyway.

But anyway. No important emails what needed quick action. But since I have here with some free time, then it could be good idea to put down my first emotion after the converence... Carin fatherhood. Intresting how is doing Derek's girls? Or how is he doing with them? Does he realize how much did it hurt and always will hurt them during their life that their parents did divorce? Nah, it is not my business. Nothing what is tied with him is none of my business anymore. I just ignore the thought. It's not proble for me long time already.

Why Margo is not calling? There have passed more than 20 minutes. Probably it is even good. I can finis my post for blog. I did took my cell phone out to see the time and.. oh dear! 5 missed calls :P I did forget switch the mute off again.

- Hi, Margo, I am really sorrrrrryyyy!
- It is already 3 times 20 minutes. Where are you?
- I am sitting in internet coffee. I ama really sorry!
- I have looked you from every where. Do not go anywhere!

I was finishing last sentense in my blog when he arrived. I did make a face of Shrek's cat with boots and said sorry again. I overfloted him with words how I did forget switch mute back on after conference and I am really happy he found me finally. He was just sitting there and smiling. Good sign. He was not angry. Has he ever been angry? Ah yes, I rememember. He was once on some client of his.

I posted blog and closed PC. I was ready.


He tooke me into his car and drove into forest. It took about half hour to get there

Caring Fatherhood: first emotions

I am out in Tallinn. Actually I am in. In Kristiine Centrum somewhere in Tallinn. On my laptop I have set my internet browser client so that when I open it, it will opens all my important pageses on this window as well. So when I will have time to blog I just need to find right window on the adressbar. I don't know the addres of my blog :) But my email post gets all my postings. And I can log on from there as well. So today I went to look for the blog site into my email box and ... I didn't realize that the amount of letters I get, is soooo big. Just amazing... And it is without spam!!! If I actually think back on how do I read my emails then I should realize it already ealier. Often I just check the topic and read over line. And I often have so much info that I never know anything actually. I get information from both colleges, from work, from church, from Estonian concil of midwives plus privat correspondence... Oh dear! I am busy bee ;)

But that wasn't what I wanted to say today. The thing I wanted to discribe was the converence I have been all day today. The Conference „Caring fatherhood"'s homepages discribes it shortly so:

"The central topic of our conference is what kind of fatherhood Estonian society should value. By including experience from abroad and reflecting the life in Estonia we will try to give meaning to different concepts of fatherhood - new father, caring father, absent father, good father.

We will discuss whether caring fatherhood could play a part in solving such problems as early mortality of men, low birth rate, high number of children in one-parent families, child poverty, the gender pay gap. Thus, we concentrate on what is caring fatherhood and why it is important to all of us.

The target groups are: policy makers, media, employers, women, men."

When I came here I even did't know why. I am a woman. My future job is based on women. I am single mother without any relationship. I have grew up in family without a father... And still I was going there. I was thinking it is my responsibility for my collegues in med colleges. I am older and wiser and know more so when they didn't show up intrest, I had to do that just. And also I did realize that behind my job, behind every labouring woman is a man as well. Mostly. And...

I am megasuperhypperhappy that I did came!!!! Whole converence was built up wery well alreay technically! We had votingpads (little plastig things with buttons) for gallups. We had hedsets and little transmitters for translations (there were speakers overboard as well). We had whiteboards for powerpoint shows. We had very well served coffee breaks and lunch time! And that was just technical side. Also there was really good speakers and topicks what talked about fathers roll - how it is and how it should be. Also about children needs and how women act. It was very informative and really good. The last sepeaker, Jesper Juul from Denmark (I hope it was Denmark) was really good speaker. He is an old man with good experiances and he was able tell hos point out with good homour. I could listen him again and again. He has a little conference tomorrow also here but it was only for family concelors.

After the conference I can see better men roll in society. Especially how important are they for family and also that... they have feelings too.

But now.. Margo have made me 5 missed calls already. I need to meet with him :P When I get home I need to make short powerpoint show about the conference for my college mates. Then I have more time to think about the conference..

My first baby

Today we had an intermediante