Harassing time

It is just amazing how the time flies. I did wait so much summer. I did hope I have lots of time then to rest and do things what I needed to do but what were not priority for me then. Sometimes I think that time is going too quick only because I have so much to do. I feel I am tired. Also I feel that the time passes too quick and I am able to do so little and all what I do is just for others and nothing for myself and that I have NO time FOR MYSELF! I just would like to lie down, rise my legs on the wall and do nothing. To do so long time nothing that I feel the time is standing and I am bored. I just wonder will there come time like that in my life again?

I have even no time for my blog. Like everything what I think or feel or do have find their end...

I had today my secon blood test. And the day after tomorrow I will hear about what is going on with my future. Do I afraid? Sure. I do afraid of good and bad news on the day. Bad news may tell me my life will be too short to do all the things I want and I should start thinking what I priority to do. Good news... that I may do everything and probably there will be time my own so I just will drain myself out.

3 weeks ago about I had mission board meeting where we dicided to start with program what brings our church member closer to eachother. The first event was this Sabbath. I had to organize the place and food and some entertainment as well since Toomas was camping and probably forgot he had to organize games. But it is alright since he has needed resting time as well. He has good boy who has too many duties. Thanks for God he is here and does that all. But the event went well anyway. The members of our churce (and others who took part of ceremony) were asked to take part form collective lunch and spending time together. The most of people took cakes and sandwitches with and tables were rich. Also the communicating with eachother were good. Of course there were people who were just sitting quietly but there always will be ppl like that. I just know that my feet were hurting and I was walking around on socks. High heel shoes are not good for organizing event like that. But it all went very well!!! I even was talking to all of them although I have actually chicken heart. I told a story what I read and what made me to cry because of the vision of mission and cristianity. Even when I was telling the story and explaining it later made my ching to shake ;) When I finished was total silence in room. 40 ppl about and all were quiet. It was uncomfortable. But they were just thoughful and it was my aim to make them to think. I post the story as well..

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The old man awoke and glanced at the clock. Shock registered on his aging face as he realized that he had slept too long. the tide would be coming in and his three youngest children were still put collecting shells on the island. He leaped through the door and ran toward the beach, stumbling over the jagged, cutting rocks.

"My children, my children!" he shouted. "Someone help my children!" He could see the little island and the rising water between it and the shore. He could faintly make out the outlineof the three small bodies against the rugged rocks. "My children will drown. Oh, God, my babies will die. Someone help me!" The water was rising. Only a matter of time. Higher and higher.

A short distance down the beach he saw a group of picnickers. They would help. His legs nearly buckled as he ran. Nearing the group, he saw his older sons.

"Sit down, Father, and join our potluck. Here's a chair. We were just wishing that you could be here with us. We wanted to tell you how much we love you."

"You'd better rest a minut, Father. You shouldn't run like that in your age. What's the trouble?"

"The island - the little ones are out there. They're going to die!" Great sobs tore through his body.

"Now, Father, calm down! I'm sure it isn't that bad. Look, the rocks are above water." John clumsily patted the old grey hair, then lifted his father's face to his. "Take it easy. We're here with you, and we love you so much."

"But you don't understand. The tide is rising. Oh, my babies! Please, oh, please, help me!"

"There's no rush, Father. Don't let yourself get so worked up. It is not good for your heart. We'd die if anything happened to you. Say, look. There are Joe and Dave and their new lifesaving boat. They're more able to help than we are."

The weary father turned away and shouted into the wind. Joe and Dave, other sons of his, heard and came into to shore.

"Save the children! The island will be covered soon!"

They seemed to understand and strong hands pulled the weeping man into the boat. Then the eager motor sprang to life and they headed out to sea. In the distance he could see three tiny figures clutching the highest rocks as the waves washed about their feet.

"Hurry, please hurry," he cried.

"Yes, Father, we understand. This is a lifesaving boat and it's really grand. We brought it over today just to show it to you. Look - padded seats, air-conditioned cabin, stereo music - the works. this'll be good PR, Father. When people see this, they'll know it's great to be a son of yours." Dave laid his well-muscled arm around the shaking shoulders.

Joe looked over from behind the controls and tried to ease his father's distress. "Cheer up, Father. Say, look at what this beauty can do." He grinned, gave the throttle a thrust, and spun the wheel. The boat turned in a graceful arc and headed into the waves.

"You'te going the wrong way. the tide is coming. Save my children!"

"Yes, Father, we understand. Didn't we tell you? This is a lifesaving boat. We'll go in a minute. But first look at this."

The boat bounded back and forth across the waves, its powerful motor thrusting forward with thrilling power and speed. Joe executed the turns with smoothness and precision.

"No, no! Please, oh, please!" The father's anguished voice tore through the wind.

"Look at this, Father."

He could barely see the little ones now. In horror, he imagined their terror and pain. Only the tips of the rocks broke the water now. As he watches, unable to turn away, the dear, sweet heads, one by one, slipped into the waves and disappeared.

"They are gone!" Unbearable anguish ripped his body and he fell prostrate to the floor.

Then - concerned and tender hands gently cradled his frail body. "Father, we loved you - please, Father..."

He gave no answer or indeed any sign that he had heard.

"Father, we didn't know you cared so much. We love you, Father, don't you understand? If it had been you..."

There was no response. Just wind and waves and - silence.