Weight loss

Since I have finally understood the iportance of weigh loss then now I have to find a way to do it. Diet - most women know the meaning of it, thousands different ways to keep it and that the results are mostly a sweet roundy zero. You will lose a kilo and 2 will be back soon.

So... I need to get there trough clear mind, calculations and lots of help from outside. (I did call to my G.P. and will see her on this friday at 1 PM.)

Big Fat Cat

That's it.

Somehow it have been so that I have never been problems with health during my life. Even during school time I had to get tempridge up with light bulb... But as the proverb says "Ega tali taeva jää!" ("Winter will come always!" - meaning that what has to come that will come). There have popped up some problems with my health. And I dont like it.

I have been "big girl" all my life. But now the meaning big is getting to it's really meaning. And althou it never have bothered me I am big then now I feel it has effect on my health. I have to admit I am FAT!!!

Oh yea, of course I did know that before as well. Just it never bothered me as the fact of poor health. But now... I have really hard to breath, my legs are all swollen up and I have got somekind of heart rythm disorder... So I have to do something. And that something is lose weight!

next time i will recoord it

thats it

Im backk form my barbeque aprty and it was awsome ive not laugh and cried somuch over long time. i now will have trrible headache tomrrow but hei.. maris was kecking when we did leave. Janno did say that he wonderd we didnt piss in pants during the night.. and what the fakk.. too much information about everythig. kats was sou out that couldnt even sing propperly... omfg KATS COULD NOT SSINGG bwhahahahaa

Murphy's law

Since there was WoW's weekly maintenance today till at 11.00 by Paris time (what's now after turning clocks to summertime at 1PM by my time) I was just duing something useful like some schoolwork. Since I thought first that the maintendance will end at 12 by my time (thought that they turn clocks in Paris as well but seems that it is only our free fun of paly with time) I had whole hour to finish my work I was doing (ofc I didnt get it ready for 12) and I decided to get quick wahs as well. Well I do it more often thatn just today but for special care today came from the call I got. I was asked out to barbeque. Wohoo! Quick look out from the window (havent been out from home 5 days already - I have leave from work and the teachers from college are away at schoolings as well whole week)... yep.. meters and meters of snow are all gone. At least under my window.

So my washing.. Since my watersystem is broken i had to use a bowl and a can to pour water on my head. Ofc I wanna complain about it because I have a bath but I cant even use it. I really dream about lying in the hot bath in my own dirty water.... mmmm.... but ofc I dont complain because some ppl in Africa are happy when they have water to drink just :o

Well.. the can was occupied. I did hold there my keefir's pack and who dont know what is keefir it has missed something really delicous what you can make from milk. I did just took the opened plasticbag out from the can and set it on the cupboard to stand and wait may returnd.

My head was real cheese. But well.. we didnt have to get into little details of my washing details. I did was all my special parts and when I returned then guess what... ofc there Murphy's law had fullfilled:

If anything can go wrong, it will
Corollary: It can
Corollary: It should
MacGillicuddy's Corollary: At the most inopportune time
Extension: it will be all your fault, and everyone will know it.

The packet with delicous inside stuff was fallen over and now I just have to go to clean it all up to make sure that noone gets to know anything happened at all. But for that is another Murphy's law, I am sure...

Ok. I am tired. Physically. Can't wait when the college year gets over and I really need leave from work. Well.. will get the leave in a week!!! =D

I have so many times meant to make a note here but... When I am sitting behind the screen my thoughts are gone. If I could just save them when I get them... ;] That would be then like Bioflunz' dreammachine already :P

Nvm. I am alive and doing okay and thats the most important :)

I have several days thought on how I come home and log all what I have thought and seen, done and been but here I am... Weeks later and actually dont want to type any about what I was thinking about then. Like about the winter and trees and snow and the gorgeos feelings I have felt walking in darkness on the street seeing all the amazing beauty of nature. Or about WoW and Kuo, and about Kilo and Tsis, and V, and Tij and hate and love and wasting of time and about college and the studings and.. and... and... Dont know at all why I did log on to write anything because jsut now I feel like a worm enving life of Meego Remmel. Well.. not his life but to be as he is.. simple, intelligent, trusting, helpful and so amazing. I have all the time dreamed to be a good person but actually I really want to shout to everyone that F-word... Yea.. I really want..

So fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you and fuck you too!

Oh, and do NOT leave me, of course...

Unrepentently guilty...

I feel that way. I am studying on III course and I feel I know nothing. I did know some on the first course but now... I know nothing! I just wonder how have I managed to stay in college with studying methods like I have. The Method like "I have time, I have time, I have no time, God help me, I will start study, I make it, I forget my promises..." That has sent me trough the half year. What can I say... Just

GOD, FORGIVE ME!
I AM A SINNER! :(

Quiet stream, deep bottom... EVA!

Did open my emails and saw that Eva did answer to my request to see her blog. Well... didnt see what she did answer, just that she did it and then I just log in to read her writtings. I am still sitting at the children clinic. My day have been really pithful... I did measured a 17 years old boy's RR. Twice. Then I did rub a 8 months old girl's but into Methylen blue (whatever it is). Did hand fever thermometer to 3 different mom/dad that they could measure temperature of their offsprings, did draw tables into a workbook about 3 hours, standed middle the room and tried to keep back yawns and now its at 5 PM and I have read about an hour Eva's blog.

Maris said it is good. Don't know is it good but I really did made funny noices during reading so the nurse, carer and the resident squint at me. So what. Let me home then... They left room and I did really laugh laud till tears. Well.. I have to say it is good because I really laughed. Some experssions did disturbed me but its because of my principles not about she did use them.

Just read her answer as well she wrote to me "I did sent the invite. But I warn you I do write there very and very honestly. Happy reading." LOL. She REALLY did write very honestly there. When you talk about your feelings then you cant lie anyway. You just feel that way on this moment. Is it right then or not.

Xristmas

Kuolema said to me yesterday night Merry Christmas and hopefully we will see again in 2 months about. He is going to visit his parents for the time. Somehow it even made me sad. He said he will log on from laptop but he can't paly from there. But playing its not important because if I want someone to boost instas for me I can always bother Vouivre (althou he always says no) or maybe Tsister or kitkat to help me. In the same it gives me possibility to lvl TigelVigel up to the same lvl with Kjol (Kuo's alt) that we could do some quests together. Thaaaats a positive thing =]

I like Kuolema a lot. He is really kind and friendly person. And very helpful =]

Shadows

I have tried to get Derek of from my thoughts and posts. Out from my life. But it seemed to be not possible. Till I realized couple days ago I will never gt him out from it because he was a part of my life. And I just can't delete that time. But finally I was agree with him, he is an arse. =] He really was, is and probably will be because the truth is that peopel won't change if they wont. I feel sorry of the time I spent crying and longing by him. I was living under well hidden terror of what will happen if I do... live. So I did stop living. I did lose my life and my friends.

I got it all couple days ago when was watching my friends and felt happy again. There will be always shadows in my life but they will be almost gone in shine of my all the happiness from my life :]

Long live sun.

Oh and long live WoW =]

Winter 2009 arraived yesterday. Officially.

Yesterday at 7.49 PM arrived winter in Estonia. Not the fact itself but the white slowly falling snow what did cover the land and the really boring day at children clinic and that continuous sitting and sneaking off time to time to have our fair of chit-chat made us decide to do something together. Outside. In snow.

At first there was 3 and half of us. Maris (1), Kätlin (1), Sandra (0,5) and me (1). Karin, Kadri N and Kerli Ke were just taking things easy and decided that weather outside is not for them. But it was for us. We were standing on the top fo the hill and Maris poke me "So? Let's go?" I did watch down from the hill, then I watched Maris. And then again down from the hill, and then I did watch Kätlin. Sigh. Alright then. I did give the green apple shaped butt plate to Maris and took the big yellow "pan" for myself. Everyone got the sledge accordingly the size of our butts. I did sat on my pan and did push myself down... When I finally got down were my mouth and eyes full of snow and I did hang on to the pan handles. Weeeeeee! That was fun!

3 hours on the hill. Eva L came there before her way to the Norwey course and took 2 rides down form the hill. And finally got Käthlin with her men and son there too. So finally left from the hill 5 of us. Maris (1), Kätlin (1), Sandra (0,5), Rinaldo (1), Käthlin (1), Markus (0,5) and me (1) ofc.

We decided to not go to Kapriis. Not that i would know where or what it is. But we just decided to take pizza and some snacks and go to the students house where Käthlin and Rinaldo and a room. Kätlin and Sandra left us but Kerlik Ke and Tiivi (who knows who was her) joined with us. We did eat 2,4 kilo pizza, bowl of chips and teh other bowl of raw veggies with dip sauce. Also we did drink a 1,5 liter of limonade Kreizi Maasikas and 2 litres of glög. Althou I did thought I will explode I couldnt stop my hands go again to veggies or chips bowl and then again near my mouth.. Exploding was not only dangerous what was lurking by us there but once I did almost choke because of unability stop laugh with full mouth...

So. Winter did arrive yesterday. Officially.

Today again.. I am sitting at children clinic and feel I have body.. My body muscles are in fire. Especially my tummy. Its really good to laugh..