What now...

He passed away. Yesterday. His brother called to me and said it happened quite quickly. He was crying. I felt really bad. Not because he died but because of his family and the sorrow they felt. I knew wery well the feeling when you lose someone very important in your life. But... I felt easier I didn't have to go there for the night. I was so tired... Since Wednesday I had been there all nights. I did it because I felt it is right. That he needed me there to stand next to his bed and whipe his body with cold wet cloth to give some relief for him. I also knew the other carer were angry at me I did it because it was their shifts but... the family asked me there. So I really didn't care about other carers since talking about them there was only their pride what got harmed. But the family needed me there because they scared, they needed someone who would have 100% of attention only for them. And I gave what I could.

So I was actually happy on Satturday night when I had possibility to fall into my own bed. I needed deep sleep. I know there will be some trouble by othere carer for me but I just don't care ;o) We will see what will happen on Tuesday when we have carer's meeting at Kadi. Then they can tell me what they want.

*************

I had a call. A strange number. When I answered I knew already who is there. My heart jumped.

...but it has to end!

Will it? Maybe my broken heart needs some comfort?